TFLN

[sadsheriff]

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Posting here because eff the captcha on Bakerstreet XP

Comments

Edith Gale | VTM

[sadsheriff]

1) Stop trying to be cute, making cat noises will not fix the situation.

2) The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife, and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

3) I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. I'm bewildered.

4) Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

5) Please don't ever try giving one of my dogs a hair cut ever ever again

6) Text her!

4

[wriststaples]

Look, it was a long story but the short of it is the traffic cone saved my life and was dirty.

So I washed it. It was the lease I could do.

Ethan Winters | Resident Evil

[wriststaples]

1) If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.

2) I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Chris” written on my chest in frosting.

3) I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”

4) OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP

5) Text him

Re: 4

[sadsheriff]

A traffic cone... saved your life?

Long story or not I think I need to hear this.

3

[sadsheriff]

And you wonder why he gives you a hard time whenever you meet.

Re: 4

[wriststaples]

Well I dropped my knife and I was out of ammo. And there was the traffic cone.

It was a hell of a fight. Three on one and I just had the traffic cone. But we made it through.

Re: 3

[wriststaples]

He deserves it.

Re: 4

[sadsheriff]

Fight?

[ A second passes ]

Can't you go anywhere without getting attacked!

[ five more seconds pass ]

I assume you're not injured

[ The for once goes unsaid- or typed in this case. ]

Since you did take the time to clean the cone in my shower.

[ Is Edith trying to "mom" someone almost twice her age? Maybe. ]

Re: 3

[sadsheriff]

I'm not saying he doesn't I'm just worried it getting worse each time you two run into each other.

[bulletfox]

1 There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises

2 At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.

3 hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?

4 My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays X gonna give it to you on loop 24/7

5 dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore

6) you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.

7) text him!