sadsheriff: (Hungry)
Edith Gale ([personal profile] sadsheriff) wrote in [community profile] abstract_stories2021-05-07 03:25 pm
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TFLN

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Posting here because eff the captcha on Bakerstreet XP
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sadsheriff: (Default)

Edith Gale | VTM

[personal profile] sadsheriff 2021-05-07 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
1) Stop trying to be cute, making cat noises will not fix the situation.

2) The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife, and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

3) I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. I'm bewildered.

4) Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

5) Please don't ever try giving one of my dogs a hair cut ever ever again

6) Text her!
wriststaples: (You're kidding me.)

4

[personal profile] wriststaples 2021-05-12 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
Look, it was a long story but the short of it is the traffic cone saved my life and was dirty.

So I washed it. It was the lease I could do.
wriststaples: (Default)

Ethan Winters | Resident Evil

[personal profile] wriststaples 2021-05-12 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
1) If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.

2) I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Chris” written on my chest in frosting.

3) I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”

4) OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP

5) Text him
sadsheriff: (Hmm2)

Re: 4

[personal profile] sadsheriff 2021-05-12 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
A traffic cone... saved your life?

Long story or not I think I need to hear this.
sadsheriff: (Askew glance)

3

[personal profile] sadsheriff 2021-05-12 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
And you wonder why he gives you a hard time whenever you meet.
wriststaples: (Knife!)

Re: 4

[personal profile] wriststaples 2021-05-12 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I dropped my knife and I was out of ammo. And there was the traffic cone.

It was a hell of a fight. Three on one and I just had the traffic cone. But we made it through.
Edited 2021-05-12 14:25 (UTC)
wriststaples: (Bound)

Re: 3

[personal profile] wriststaples 2021-05-12 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
He deserves it.
sadsheriff: (Huh?)

Re: 4

[personal profile] sadsheriff 2021-05-12 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Fight?

[ A second passes ]

Can't you go anywhere without getting attacked!

[ five more seconds pass ]

I assume you're not injured

[ The for once goes unsaid- or typed in this case. ]

Since you did take the time to clean the cone in my shower.

[ Is Edith trying to "mom" someone almost twice her age? Maybe. ]
Edited 2021-05-12 15:22 (UTC)
sadsheriff: (Huh?)

Re: 3

[personal profile] sadsheriff 2021-05-12 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying he doesn't I'm just worried it getting worse each time you two run into each other.
bulletfox: (Awooooo)

[personal profile] bulletfox 2021-05-12 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
1 There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises

2 At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.

3 hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?

4 My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays X gonna give it to you on loop 24/7

5 dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore

6) you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.

7) text him!
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